Tomorrow Luis and I are driving to Orlando to go to Sanibel Island with my family for a week and I am ECSTATIC. I haven't seen my family for over a month and school is super hectic and my job is taxing...I'm really ready for a break. However, all of my classes are online and I have multiple assignments that will still be due the week we're on Sanibel. You know, the week I'm supposed to spend rolling around in the shallow Gulf waters, drunk on tropical frozen beverages, soaking up the sun? Yea, somehow I'm not seeing any Applied Linguistics, Enhancing Teaching with Technology, or Public Speaking in that beautiful daydream I've been having. Now, even though I know that avoiding homework on Sanibel means I'll have to finish it ahead of time, here I am sitting on my bed in a pile of clean laundry, writing a blog post and talking to my friend on Facebook the night before I leave because I am the worst kind of procrastinator. A proud one. I just can't bring myself to do the work when I know that it's not really due until July 16th and 24th. On the other hand, the speech assignment that's due tomorrow at midnight, I'll do in a little bit, but only because I know I'll be driving to Orlando tomorrow night and won't have time to do it then. In the back of my mind I know that I'll probably have time to do these discussion board assignments and lesson plans closer to their due dates so I just can't bring myself to do them early. However, I also know that the longer I wait, the harder it will be to complete them; meaning, if I do them the day they're due, it'll take a few hours of complete stress and aggravation.
Why do I put myself through this?? Last semester I was finishing assignments literally MONTHS before they were due and on top of that reading multiple novels a week and working almost daily. I had this unbelievable drive to do better than I'd ever done before that was fed by the accomplishments I was making. Now, I spend day after day sitting on my couch, reading books, eating, watching bridal reality shows, and surfing the internet wasting hours that I could be spending doing something productive, even if it was just the laundry. My lack of motivation and procrastination feed on each other; it's a vicious circle. I desperately miss the way it felt to carelessly watch TV the night before a project was due because I had finished it a week beforehand and the peacefulness my organization led to. No matter how hard I've tried this summer, I can't seem to replicate that. Sure, being a successful procrastinator feels great for now, but all those warm and fuzzy feelings from the spring are starting to be dearly missed.
Yet, as much as I miss my planner and color-coded notebooks, I just can't find the motivation to succeed at that level this summer. So, I've decided that it's not my fault. It's summer. Summer has created a lull in my academic life. Every day is so warm and sticky that I just want to zone out and read a good book while I sip some icy cold sweet tea. Summer isn't just a season, it's a mood, and I am so feeling it this year. I know that when it comes down to it, I'll pull A's in these classes because at the end of it all, I'm a fucking awesome procrastinator. I'm giving myself the excuse of summer and I'm okay with that, so long as it comes with Jeremiah Weed and lemonade and a great big umbrella to sit under.
So I guess the answer is no, I don't like being a procrastinator. I happen to be good at it, but that doesn't mean I enjoy it. It's working for me right now, though, so I'll let it slide until fall rolls around. Then I'll snap back into my serious, studious self that actually accomplishes things more than an hour before they're due. For now, I'm going to relax a little and enjoy my vacation, even if it means I'll have to submit some discussion boards while refilling my cup and reapplying sunscreen.
